You want some coffee with all that sugar?

So as an international jet setter in NYC, F.A.N.D.A.N.G.O. Foine had to stop into *bucks to recharge her battery.  Here is how the conversation between her and her friend Mi Mi went hellarandom.

Foine: I will have a non-fat, single shot, sugar free caramel, white mocha. Grande.

Male Barista: Is that all miss thang.  (Please add your own hella comme si comme sa twang to it.)

Foine: Yes thank you.  So Mi Mi, if you don't want to go out tonight you don't have to.  I feel bad dragging you out after we have been out all day long already.

Mi Mi:  Oh don't wor--

Barista: I'm sorry, did I hear you say you are looking to see a drag show?

Foine: Uh, no I don't think so.

Barista: Oh, well if you want to see a drag show, I perform at Coconuts and Roxies all the time.  My name is Elliot, but I go by the name Vera Vidal now.  I used to be called Nancy.

Foine: Oh, okay. Thanks for that.

Barista:  Yeah, because I am like one of the best there are.  The best nights are Thursdays and Sundays.  I compete and win lots of money. 

Foine: Oka--

Barista:Yeah and I am like the best because I don't even use hormones.  Yeah. This is all natural.  So I get a lot of tips because when the ass is natural it is better.  And I only paid $25 for my chest.  It is really good.  

Foine and Mi Mi: Oh wow.  

Barista: Yeah and I wear a $100  jumpsuit under my clothes.  You ladies should try it.  It really sucks you in.

Foine: Oh thanks.

Barista: And Tuesday is lesbian night so...

Foine and Mi Mi: ---

Barista:  Yeah and I can get you in for $7 and it is great because it is $1 drinks tickets.  

Mi Mi: (Sarcastically) Oh $1 drinks huh?

Barista: It is really fun.  

Foine: (Looking crosseyed at Mi Mi) Oh too bad I am not in town until Tuesday.  Then we could have gone to lebiana night Mi Mi.

Mi Mi: Yeah too bad.

Barista: Okay here's your drinks.

Foine: Ok thanks gotta go.  Good luck at Coconuts. 

Now, what about us makes people 1) tell us way too much 2) talk to us way too much 3) Presume we are lesbiana and 4) Make us have conversations that are waaaaay awkward and hellarandom.