We need CHANGE (literally)- A FionnaFLoww Rant

Yesterday, I was sitting in the car with Fresh pondering the many mysteries of the world (particularily those pertaining to the male species) when I checked my myspace page. I had a new friend request and a message accompanying it.

The message said, " how u coin sexy?"

Now...I'm not dumb. And I'm far from, how should I say it, crazy (and anyone who says I'm not far from crazy is a loser...A honest, telling-the-truth ass LOSER) but I hate it when people send me messages that they typed in 2.5 seconds. Am I not good enough for a 6 second message? It makes me feel responsible for making something out of nothing and honestly, I wasn't the first one in line when they had message-interpretation sign ups. I'm like the little boy who wants to do ballet but his dad wants him to play football...I.AM.BEING.FORCED.

I mean in an era where everyone is so PRO Choice, why can't I chose NOT to receive these type of messages? And why does it seem like its my life calling to make sense of the BS people type me? It's kinda like the ladies at the nail shop with the accent or the guy at your local deli who stutters; you have NO idea what their saying but for some reason you feel like you owe it to them to figure it out. Its weird. Its very weird.

I know this guy meant " how u DOIN (and not COIN) but since I was being held responsible while being punished at the same time, I felt the need to reply with something clever yet condescending.

I said: "I'm "coining" just fine. But You know what they say, if it aint about dollas...then it just don't make cents"

I wonder if he'll ever hit me back....hmmmmmm.
*HellaFionnaFLoww

Does it Alway take Two Hours to Get to Wing Stop?!?

Flow: I think I may want to go out this weekend

Fresh: All I can think about is wings in my mouth

Flow: I just got a visual. Hurry up

Fresh: I have to drive him home first

Flow: aarrgg (say it like a pirate)

Fresh: OMG!! I just texted that to Jason and no I'm not saying it like a damn pirate. wtf. Wierdo.

Flow: hahahahahaha. hurry

Fresh: on my way

Flow: aarrgg.

(2 Hours Later in Wing Stop)

Flow: I wish I was sitting on the other side of the table cuz that guy is hella singing and staring. I like can't focus.

Fresh: Wing Stop is HellaRandom

So I'm sitting in my house doing, well, I wasn't doing anything actually. Yeeaaahhh, that's exactly how this frikin story starts and its basically the whole reason this story exist...see, I was at my brand new, custom built, three story hella-room-having home doing ABSOLUTELY(say it slowly) NOTHING!! I can't explain the amount of bored'ocity' that was flowing in the air. It makes my skin tingle just thinking of it. Let me put it like this: if bored was synonymous with crackin then...this night was like that time me&ash got hella drunk, pissed on the street, broke into my(and yes I said MY) car and then had a hit&run with Jazz gone off a pill. It was HELLA BORING...wait...I meant to say HELLA CRACKIN right?!? Anyway...I don't have any cable becuz my contractor sucks and the Arab guy from Comcast was like “I can't do any additional work cuz I'm so lame" so I was basically staring at the wall texting ash:

Me: I'm hella bored
Ash: awww why r u so bored?
Me: um...cuz I have nothing to do? duh.
Ash: lol. Are u home?
Me: yes.
Ash: why don't u go to Dominica's house
Me: lame
Ash: get ur cable set up biotch.
Me: dude...my frikin contractor asks like he has to contact GOD to get an electrician to come out. Life sucks. I'm gonna cry. Goodnight. Amen.
Ash: LAME
Ash: there is absolutely nothing to cry about
Me: I was just joking MOM.
Ash: this convo is hella funny.
Me: not really.
{3 minutes pass}
Me: so my lame old washing machine just blew up and now my whole garage is flooded.
Ash: Is it rude that I just laughed. I'm sorry. Wtf is going on with that BORING ass house??

If a washing machine explodes in a CRACKIN ass house...does it make a sound??...hmmmm